Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year.


Ginny at 3 months.


I look back on this year and can not believe all that has happened. My husband is still unemployed and suffers from chronic nerve pain. We have hope that it will get better soon but each day is a struggle for him.

She is almost 6 months old. She is such a joy and we can't imagine our family without her. I struggled when she was born. I worried about her future about my future. Over these past few months I have come to realize what a tender mercy it was for her to be born into our family. At first the timing was overwhelming, we were struggling with so many other things at the time I questioned God's wisdom. I thought it was just too hard with everything happening at once. At times is was overwhelming and it still can be one some days. But I now see the timing as a blessing. What else can fill a mother's heart more than a tiny baby? Rather than seeing her as a burden I see her as a gift.I try to to be easily offended by comments that were not intended to offend. After all, I probably would have said something similiar in ignorance too.

This is a whole new world, but I feel that is the real world. Ginny helps me remember why we are all really here on earth. It is so easy to get caught up in just doing stuff, getting nice stuff, trying to keep the stuff safe and nice looking. Then there are the endless tasks. Washing clothes, driving to lessons, cleaning the house, helping with homework, etc. While most of these things are important and even necessary it is easy to lose sight of the reason we do these things. What should be the reason? I believe the reason should be because we are here to learn, to progress, to serve those around us and to become more like are Savior. I get too caught up in "me" and what I want others to think of me and my family. Ginny helps bring me back to reality when I forget why I am here, why we are all here on earth. I thought I was happy, but the Lord had so much more in mind for me. I fought it at first but now I see His ultimate wisdom and love. Things have a way of working out. Things may not turn out the way you thought they would or should; in fact it may turn out be better than you ever imagined.