We went to our annual family reunion this summer. At one point I was standing out on the cabin deck to admire the stars. I realized that is was only a year ago that I stood on this same deck and cried. I cried because of all I thought I had lost. I mourned the sense of comfort and settled-ness that I no longer felt. I am in a very different place now. Emotionally and spiritually. I don't know what the future holds but I do know that God is aware of me, that He loves me and that He will not leave me comfortless if I will trust Him.
I know the secret to life,do you want to know what it is? We have a purpose on this life, a mission is you will. Our job is to find out what that mission is and do it. Now the problem with this is that sometimes we think that this mission should be what we want it to be. That this mission is something that we choose or design. I truly believe that the secret to life it to seek and follow the mission God has for you. It is when we get "our mission" and "God's mission for us" mixed up that we feel that life is not right, not fair, not how it should be. This is true for our children as well. I get too wound up in what I think they should be doing and forget to ask for God to help me help them to find their mission. This is what caused my greatest despair when Ginny was born.
I read on a friend's blog about her experience talking with a friend who just found out their little one has Down syndrome. It brought back memories of those first days and weeks after Ginny was born. I still remember in the hospital when I was still in a state of shock when we found out our little girl had Down syndrome. Someone came and talked to me about her daughter with Ds. We talked and cried together but one thing she said stuck out to me." One day you will look at her and not think about Down syndrome, you will just see your little girl." I didn't believe her at the time, but she was right and that day has come. She is not Down syndrome, she is my daughter. But first and foremost she is a daughter of God and He has a mission for her. Her mission may not look the same as everyone else but it is just as important and wonderful.
For Family Home Evening the other night we all wrote individual lists of things that help us feel the Spirit in our home. After we finished writing we shared our lists. We had some common things on our lists but the one thing that we all had in common was Ginny. She really does bring the Spirit into our home. The Spirit of God, of joy, love and of peace.
The best part about embracing God's mission for us is that it is so much better than anything that we can imagine for ourselves.